Kids and the Bible

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1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off
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2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called
Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
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3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
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4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble
with the unsympathetic Genitals.
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5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah.
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6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
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7. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread without any ingredients.
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8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
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9. The first commandment was when Eve told adam to eat the apple.
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10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
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11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the
hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
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12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him.
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13. David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with
the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
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14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
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15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna
Carta.
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16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
Jesus in the manager.
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17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
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18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
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19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat
alone."
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20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
the tombstone off the entrance.
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21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
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22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
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23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
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24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which
is another name for marriage.
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25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.



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